Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? If you laid all of the lawyers in the world end to end on the equator… it would be a good idea to just leave them there. 86. Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? First he lies on one side, and then on the other. 49. 48. Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common? What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. 4. Top 10 Best (and Worst) Attorney Jokes. A: There was an empty seat. “Ask me when I’m dead.” Check out 50 more corny … A: Not enough cement. 96. The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure? A: The caterer. Cut the rope. A: Because deep down, they’re really good people. Best Lawyer Jokes. A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. You can exchange them with your friends. “Isn’t that a little steep?” said the man. Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”? Just say “Fees!”. 21. "Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? 91. What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? Here are our top ten favorites: 10. Hell was full. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? 95. Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? Q: What’s the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? 98. © 2020 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 67. A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? Visit her personal website here. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers. 52. Q: Why did God invent lawyers? Lawyer jokes are hilarious. 69. Where there is a will there is a lawsuit. 6. A doberman pinscher. 97. Q: What’ the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? The other is a form of sea life." What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? 85. “And how did that turn out?” “I don’t know,” she said. Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? So, think thoroughly before it is too late. Jewelry. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. Jack Napier. 65. “Good morning, your honor.”. A: Cats keep trying to bury them. Top 101 Lawyer Jokes Posted on December 7, 2018 December 7, 2018 Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? [1]Brain Dead – Lawyer Joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_6087_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_6087_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[2]Jokes.lol – The Best Lawyer Joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_6087_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_6087_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[3]icicle software – Lawyer Joke Collection jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_6087_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_6087_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[4]Paralegal.edu – 20 Lawyer Joke You Should Never Tell jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_6087_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_6087_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); Paralegal.edu – 20 Lawyer Joke You Should Never Tell, Top 10 Moments the History of Les Bleus, French National Soccer Team, Top 10 Weirdest Things Done by Millionaires, 109 Funny Quotes and Sayings From Around the World. 79. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A Doberman Pinscher. 23. A: The caterer. A: One’s a spineless, poisonous blob. 41. 68. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. A: Lipstick. 19. 2. A good start! Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. 45. 36. It gets better if one of your friends is a lawyer. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? 88. A: They both look good hanging from a tree. A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna. lawyer JOKES (random) It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Joke has 86.43 % from 181 votes. Help! 59. 44. A: In the cemetery. Q: What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? The other is a form of sea life. Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement? Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. How do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a picture? 56. 66. A: Take your foot off his head. Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Because deep down, they are really good guys! How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? 94. 24. 32. A great lawyer knows the judge. Q: What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer? 9. All rights reserved. A good start. A: A good start! Q: What’s brown and looks really good on a lawyer? Lawyer jokes are hilarious. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? When they land, they screw up everything forever. Sometimes a joke told the wrong one can blow up on your face or threaten your relationships. 1.2k votes 476 voters 10.0k views24 items. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. A: Cut the rope. The Best Lawyer Jokes. A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. 33. 47. You might not thinking that going to court is funny business. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. A man went to a lawyer and asked what his fee was.
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