(EXAMPLE in the last sentence.). Finally, computer skills can help a child to find his or her first job. judge (figure out) a teenager’s preference in clothing. I hope you will love it”. Wrong word choice. I think that computers play an essential role in our lives and they bring many benefits to our society. Plus, you’ve mentioned an idea but you’ve not explained it. This will build cohesion in your answer), (this needs to be an adjective. IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay: You should spend more than 40 minutes on this task. This will build cohesion in your answer) can have detrimental (this needs to be an adjective. When a teenager gets cash as a gift, she rarely spends it immediately. In addition to those practical benefits, computer technology helps children to do their homework faster. Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice. Teenagers usually have a wishlist that they rarely share with their parents. What gift would you give to help a child develop? This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You’ve deviated from the topic. It’s detrimental. Plus, you’ve mentioned an idea but you’ve not explained it. (The correct construction is “prevent X from Y”. Wrong word choice. So, if I had a chance to give a child a gift it would be a computer. LR issue.) Also, many teenagers are unable to handle more (MORE doesn’t convey anything here.) You should write at least 250 words Hi Kuldeep, please drop me a mail at [email protected] and I will share the procedure. “There has been an appreciable change in the number of Covid-19 patients in the last 24 hours.”, Many teenagers feel happy to receive the (this is not SPECIFIC money. While parents may prefer to gift a bicycle to a teenage daughter, she may be more inclined towards an iPod. With the a rapid change in fashion, for instance, it is hard to estimate (estimate is used for things that can be quantified.) You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. For example, books and gaming accessories help them to build their cognitive skills and make them physically active. Learn more about our Cookie Policy & Privacy Policy. Second of all, computers help children to learn more about anything by use of Internet. What gift would you give to help a child develop? 2. (IDEA EXPLAINED. can always recall (Presents can’t recall. EXPLAIN the idea before moving to the next idea. Moreover, monetary gifts build the valuable habit of saving money. Tagged as: answer correction, correction, Essay Checking, essay writing, gift, IELTS, IELTS essay correction, IELTS essay correction India, IELTS task 2, IELTS writing, money, money best gift, teenagers. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Doctors, Nurses and Teachers VS Entertainers and Sportspersons. 1. See – 3.) You’ve deviated from the topic. Be very specific while writing an example: With rapidly changing fashion trends, for instance, it is hard to judge whether a teenager prefers a, 5. Be very specific while writing an example: With rapidly changing fashion trends, for instance, it is hard to judge whether a teenager prefers a plain jean or a ripped one. IELTS Essay Correction: Improving Position Of Women Leads To Problems. (Please note there are better words to express your views. present for teenagers as it (refers back... 2. wrong path such as drug addiction and gambling make them drug addicts and gambler. The point is. …. This will increase the cohesion score. Right?) I opened it. money and may push them to the (Its a SPECIFIC path. IELTS Essay Correction: Money Is The Best Gift. Moreover, children can learn by use of computers. Unlike money, other presents (such as?) All rights reserved. Let us combine the two sentences. But on my 21th birthday, I received a special gift from my best friend. By Sartaj Singh on April 19, 2020 • ( Leave a comment ) Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them. So, make sure you read all paragraphs. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Similarly, the size, shape, and design of earrings keep changing every few months and so does a teenage girl’s preferences. (IDEA in the first sentence.) You are not talking about SPECIFIC teenagers – the teenagers in the age group of 11 to 13.) Copyright © 2013 - 2020 IELTS Mentor. teenager’s growth. 4. I’ve written them within parenthesis. See – 3. GR issue.) Let us discuss.) Humans can.) IELTS Essay Correction: Give Gifts To Show Care. the memories and are (parallelism issue. A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. There are numerous GR and LR issues in this essay. (Can you guess why these are incorrect? 3. money it (let us use a pronoun to refer back to money. It is a quality of. Also, children have a great opportunity to learn more about other countries, their history, traditions and customs. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Advantages And Disadvantages Of The Internet. Your email address to learn amazing IELTS and PTE English. LR issue. (TEACHES and ENABLES follows the Rules of Parallelism. IELTS Essay Correction: Problems With Student Behaviour. While appreciate means expressing gratitude for something, appreciable means something significant (huge, considerable). 5. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. On the other hand, I think that gifts other than money (= non-monetary gifts) are more beneficial for the teenagers. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. (IDEA EXPLAINED. (TEACHES and ENABLES follows the Rules of Parallelism.). ), (There is no need to write the last sentence.). IELTS Letter Evaluation: Musicians Using A Community Hall. Some people say that people remember special gifts or presents that they receive. Why? IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Change ). They can find new friends even from another country. It was a thick book. Learn how your comment data is processed. This will increase the cohesion score. Unlike money, presents such as a toy have emotional value as they help a person recall valuable memories. Now pick the second idea – GROWTH.)) 3. A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What is the nature of effect? They can type their data into the computer, easily check the grammar, correct mistakes and then print it out. Let us combine the two sentences. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. There is no BUT with ALTHOUGH.) You should write at least 250 words Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Let us combine the two sentences. The point is “How does a monetary gift help a teenager learn the habit of saving money?” Moreover, monetary gifts build the valuable habit of saving money. (Let us re-write the sentence: Unlike money, presents such as a toy have emotional value as they help a person recall valuable memories. A child can find an advertisement on the Internet about a job offer or he or she can make a resume and place it on the Internet. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support my answer. Personally, I think it is a great experience and a big step forward towards a future career. Okay! Moreover, playing games develop many important qualities such as attention, patience, persistent, etc. They can use the preserved money during their bad times. By using our website and services, you agree to our use of cookies. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Year Off Between School And University. Moreover, there are plenty different kinds of educational programs that can help children learn how to read, write, draw and even how to behave and speak a foreign language. …. She gave me a small red box and said that: “This is my special gift for you. While parents may prefer to gift a bicycle to a teenage daughter, she may be more inclined towards an iPod. To conclude, I believe that children should learn how to use a computer because this knowledge will help them in the future to be more self-confident and enterprising. ), (Please note there are better words to express your views. Model Answer 1: People learn and develop throughout their entire lives. It is a quality of effect. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Self-employment Vs Working For A Company. present for teenagers as it (refers back to money) enables them to purchase anything of their choice and teaches them the skill of saving money. This will increase the cohesion score. Why? She preserves it and accumulates money to spend it in the future. Firstly, they can purchase items according to their wishlist. "IELTS Sample Answer & IELTS Preparation". Teenagers usually have a wishlist that they rarely share with their parents. effects on them. Many people think that money is the best gift to give to a teenager, but others disagree. Firstly, they can buy (purchase) anything (items/ goods) according to their wishlist. Children will improve their communication skills, gain more knowledge and experience. — ELTEC English – Online English Learning Boutique. Now pick the second idea – GROWTH. Therefore, to give money to the teenagers may have some bad adverse/ negative (LR issue) consequences. They act as a bond, for example, between parents and children, and between siblings. 4. They act as a bond, for example, between parents and children, and between siblings.
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